Looks like I am stuck in the past these days.

I guess I am stuck in the past--still waiting and forever dreaming that someday things will return to the way they are. It is like standing in the middle of the rain, hoping that the sun will appear after I catch every raindrop the clouds heave upon my frail body. I feel so stupid right now, even if I know I am doing the right thing. What is happening to me? What have become of me? I am not like this before. I know I am even better back then. Just resting, jovial, almost excited, always amazed and incredibly hopeful--that is me.

Where is that man who said to himself that he will make better use of his God-given talents? Where is that man who said to others to wait and see what he can do to the world? WHERE is that man?

Generally, I am sad. I conclude, therefore, I am demented.